November 19, 2006
-
Perhaps a few more words about bar results are in order. I think "Whew" accurately describes how I felt when I saw my name on the pass list. I'm ecstatic, of course, that I'm a real lawyer, that I get to start signing stuff now and sending letters to opposing counsel under my own name, rather than ghostwriting all our correspondence. I get business cards now; I can start joining professional organizations; and what makes me happiest is that I'm free to actively find pro bono work to do. One thing I'd really like to get involved with is individual bankruptcy. The bankruptcy code is so incredibly complicated, the 2005 amendments were really bad for debtors, and a lot of these people really need legal advice. I think it's a place where I have some expertise and could actually make a difference. There's pro bono opportunities through the firm too, but I want to find my own stuff and tell the firm that this is what I'm doing, rather than the other way around, since if it's stuff I've found, I think I'll have a lot more control in the overall direction of the things I work on.
But anyway, back to the "Whew." To me, the bar is about survival. I don't feel a sense of accomplishment so much as relief. Waiting for results is like being pushed out of a plane, pulling the cord on your parachute, and having it not open. And you're hurdling toward the ground for four months, and then at the very last minute, you realize you have an emergency chute, it opens, and you're saved. You don't pat yourself on the back for having the foresight to bring a back-up parachute as you just thank god that it opened.
Nearly everyone I know passed. (I should note for my non-lawyer readers that the Pass List for the Exam was made public this morning, so you can search for everyone's name who you know and see if they passed. This is the activity to which most of my morning has been devoted.) But I also know a couple people who didn't pass. One of them I actively dislike. This person is a total competitive gunner, would cut your throat to get ahead and not even have the decency to step over your corpse on the way past you. I feel awful that this person failed though. Because whatever else I have to say about this person, I can't say that the minimal qualfications to be a lawyer (in terms of intelligence, work ethic, etc.) are lacking. I'm shocked that this person didn't pass. And it is horrible that this person will have to retake the exam. No one, not even my worst enemy, deserves that.
That's the vexing thing about the bar -- it's not an error-proof filter. Tons of people I see as unqualified somehow passed and are running around as terrible lawyers. Then I know people who didn't pass, who I think will make fine lawyers. There are errors inherent in any sort of selection process, and there's always the problem that people get lazy and don't study enough, etc. The bar is more about sucking it up and being miserable for a couple months than it is about out-witting the exam. But it's really hard when those "errors" are human beings that you know, and that are going to have to go through this horrible process again. I don't know if I'd have the strength to.
It also has to be hard when all your friends took this exam, and they passed and you didn't. Just... awkwardness on all sides of that situation.
All that said, I have to admit that studying for the bar isn't as miserable a process as it could have been. I took my Bar Review class in Malibu, and many days I studied sitting outside on this terrace overlooking the Pacific Ocean. I did actually learn some stuff in the process. I think the whole thing would have been rather enjoyable, if I didn't have the fear of failure hanging over my head the whole time. With that gone, it's much easier to reflect on the whole experience and focus on the enjoyable parts.
Recent Comments