January 28, 2008
-
i’ve got some time to kill before i go to bed. i should just go to bed since it’s going to be a busy week, but i don’t feel like it, so i have a choice between (1) writing people back on facebook whose messages i have been lazily neglecting, (2) browsing craigslist missed connections in hopes that may there’s one that says tall, shaved head guy running in balboa park, or (3) writing here. well, or i could read a book, but again, the laziness.
i had a huge deadline at work come and go last friday night, and everything got out on time. this weekend was a huge relief, but also a major waste of time, spent mostly playing scrabble, sleeping, and thinking through this appeal brief i have to rewrite (but not actually writing — just thinking about how great it will be to get praise for having rewritten it well). it’s hard been so stressed the majority of the time, because when i do get these windows with nothing to do, i have no idea what to do with myself. maybe nothing is an acceptable answer, but it seems like shopping, or playing clarinet, or sitting at a coffee shop would be better — just something concrete to have done with 48 hours that are going to be forgotten anyway, but now even more quickly than they otherwise would be.
do you ever feel like life is passing you by but you’re powerless to do anything about it? or not powerless so much as not sure what to do. with me it’s a mixture. part of the problem is i don’t know where to start. the other part is that the ideas i have are terrifying, so i don’t.
