October 30, 2007
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is it better to love or be loved? is it inevitable that you take on one of those roles in a relationship more than the other? are certain types of people prone to each role? which am i? is it ok?
i think i'm more of a "to love" person, which unfortunately means i get the short end of the stick. although, if you spend all your time being loved, maybe you could do better? i'd rather be hopelessly infatuated with someone who's sort of into me than to have a retarded person i don't respect hanging on my every word. so maybe it's fortunate that i always find myself in the former situation rather than the latter.
people don't change.
is that true? more so than we want to believe or admit to ourselves. i've spent countless years trying to change people -- or rather, sitting idly by HOPING they'd change and LOVE ME -- only to realize it was all a waste. does that mean i'll never change, that the things i think are wrong with me are hopelessly fixed? and can we live that way? even if nothing ever changes about us, is it better to indulge the fantasy that we can change so that we continue to try? is there value in trying apart from succeeding? and is there joy in those minutes you spend with someone, hoping that they'll learn to love you, those minutes before you realize they never will.
Comments (3)
man, craig... I hear you. You have no idea how perfectly your timing on this post is
does the person you love know you love them? how could loving someone be a waste? How could it be anything other than a waste if you don't do anything about it? perhaps you are hopeless because you are idly sitting waiting for change instead of changing things yourself.
how could you know your love doesn't feel the same way if they are unaware that you are waiting for them to change?
Because you are a "to love" person you don't see that you aren't willing to be loved back. Let me ask you this, if you knew the "change" was possible in them would you change and allow being loved in return? change is not defeat. and two people in love both have to change in order for love to last because they both have to learn to grow together. the change is the willingness to try.
love takes two. and in love almost doesn't count.
Hi Craig! Yes, I'm doing well. I'll try to update soon. How have you been?
Your latest entry is excellent. The previous comment makes some good points, but I wonder to what extent we compromise ourselves by changing for others. Hmm.. I'll have to think more about this.