December 17, 2006
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If there's one thing I don't like about my firm, it's often being the only person who isn't married and, less frequently, who doesn't have kids. Minnesota was a blast. (It didn't end up snowing though.) But, out of our six person trial team, I was the only one who wasn't married with children. Part of that is being the youngest; another part is that it's four partners, me, and a 4th year. So not only am I young, I'm really young. Nevertheless, it makes conversation boring. There were some interesting family stories, but at the end of the day, I just don't care what someone's cute 4 year old did, or about the ins and outs of teething.
If there's one thing I'm sorry about it's that I'm prematurely old, but without any of the good parts of old age like a relationship or friends or whatever. I want to sit around, have angst, and talk about intellectual things like legal theory. But I don't know where to find those people.
I guess it's the same story I always tell. If there is an added part now, it's that there's a new sense of urgency. A recognition that I can get sucked into a world that I don't care to live in; I'm not going to find anything that makes me happy in it. And I'm frustrated.
Not that I couldn't be happy if this is all there is to my life. This is why I think there's no one path or meant to be. But maybe the choice isn't so stark as the one between finding the one and living a miserable life. Maybe it's a matter of degree. And even if I'm happy now, I could be happier another way...
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